Well you know what I always say about freshmen.... If you want it, and they've got it... get it.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
This baby is an asshole
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
i just wanna know who wrote "dibbz" on my ass?
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Randomize
