FYI... At my funeral, it will be your job to throw yourself dramatically onto my casket.
i'm in his bathroom *freshening up* and he not only has a hairdryer... but a straightener. get me out of here... NOW
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Hate sex is AWESOME! I faked it, and when she fell asleep i came in her purse.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
I threw a beer bottle at the bartender and pissed myself. Somehow, I didn't get kicked out.
Just did body shot off a midget. Pretty good start.
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
I'm a fuck boy trapped in a single mom's body.
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Yeah I either headbutted a street sign while texting or I defended you two from an evil gang of nazi muggers. I was black out so I am gonna assume it was option b.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
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