Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
my periods are so regular now that they are sync-ed with my subscriptions of vogue.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
Snaps to my Ella Fitzgerald station for such a jazzy walk of shame
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
A unicorn in pinstripe pants just got on the J at Dolores stop. It can only be a good night
Now that you have a boyfriend, can I have my vibrator back?
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
It was terrible. I am sore from head to toe, neither of us got off, and we were at it for an hour and a half, I faked having a heart episode so we could stop. It worked.
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