She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
My ex just called and told me that he is on his way to the hospital because he popped a vein in his dick. Should I go to the ER with him or class?
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
I don't care that you had sex on my bed. I care that you used my lollipop condom. I was saving that for a special occasion
It was a special occasion. Your best friend had crazy awesome sex on your bed. Thank you
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
If by science you mean beer then YES!!!!
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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