you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
i don't know where i am. i made bad decisions. i think this guy is dead.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
My diet fell off the wagon when I began texting the pizza delivery guy my location on frat row.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
