Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
"Don't get as drunk as I was on my birthday" has been upgraded from a goal for Friday night to a goal for my life in general.
Well he has a girlfriend. So I told him that I wanted to have sex way more than I wanted to be a decent human being.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
There is a bottle of ciroc waiting graciously on my breakfast table. It's almost a sign for me to live up to my Russian blood.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
Just sitting at dinner with my dad...simultaneously texting "daddy" to confirm saturday's spanking and telling another guy to get condoms before Im done with dinner. Don't know when I got so ate up but I'm loving it. You?
Regretting asking you what you were doing.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
Randomize
