watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
She played chubby bunny with our cocks.. She got 4
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Had to go to the urgent for a physical and I gave them my fake. Nurse was a sport though
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
tell me why they applauded then the bartender locked himself in the bathroom when i walked into the bar today ????
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
