we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
He's trying to impress me with how much money he makes. How does he know me so well?
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
I may have just unintentionally roofied a man in a wheelchair
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
He's an acquired taste, like S&M or those crunchy things they put in salads
Croutons?
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Randomize
