so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
Yeah go get her. And don't bring her clothes I want her to walk back in her Christmas stocking dress. Take pictures.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
Yes ma'am.Im also looking at my collection of penis pictures in my email playing "who;s penis is that"?
Trying to take a nap and my brain decides to play "lets have flashbacks every time you blew it with a chick in college". It's a montage of stupidity and youthful inexperience. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
Yeah, but i got vodka and bacon out of it, so it's fine.
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
so idk what that means but now because of me he has a police file as breaking into my apartment and sleeping in my hallway under the carpet
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
