i think i've said "don't judge me" 10+ times tonight... is that a bad thing?
yes
... don't judge me
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
Can't decide which I like more. Telling a girl she's pregnant or telling her she has herpes. It's the little things that make medicine tolerable.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
