your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
just wondering who decided to put a cup of throw up in my fridge
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
She got tired so now we're making anyone who has a stupid idea go into her bedroom so she can sleepslur "good idea" or "baaaad idea." We're calling her the queen of the misguided.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
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