I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
They just kept handing me shots and saying welcome to college
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
you walked around drinking beer out of a plunger and telling people it was a goblet...
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
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