so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
the condom got lost in my hair
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Cory and I accidentally had a sexual adventure last night.
How do you ACCIDENTALLY have a sexual adventure?
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
