There are traffic cones in the living room. One of them is yours.
How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
Dude. Zebras have bad attitudes.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
Just made my first drink, took 2 sips feel like god
Randomize
