let's bang
You're in my phone as 'Weird Bus Guy' so I think my answer's no.
You were parading around the bar chugging girls drinks and then asking them if you could buy them a drink. It was actually genius
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
How can you turn a kayak date down? I'M TALKING RIVER HEAD HERE.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
You showed up at my house at 4am with a bloody nose, one shoe and a bucket of chicken... I live no where near a place that sells chicken in a bucket..
Well that would explain the bones in my purse.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Good morning 7am walk of shame. It's been awhile.
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
Randomize
