thus making me awesome and them whores
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
is it bad that I only want to go to my boyfriends house bc I want to see his roomate walk around with his shirt off?
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Yea idk it was like early in the morning and you were walking around with no shoes carrying a printer
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
I hate when pubes grow back. My mons is a warzone.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
Randomize
