My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Apparently I have a urinal in my bedroom
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
So here's my pathetic thought of the day: what does it smell like to be sober?
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
Thanks for letting me cross "getting high at park with children" off my bucket list
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