apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
Left for charity run at 5AM. Saw a pigeon eating last night's vomit and a pair of shame-walkers in high heels. Nature at it's finest.
100% of annual heatstroke fatalities are preventable deaths! Don't let it happen to you! Also, you can catch crabs from almost anything! Be safe and have fun.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Don't worry, I could have been accepted their by waving my dick at the admissions building.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Literally just one second of unclenched butt hole away from shitting my pants.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
Oh god it's open bar.
Be careful, there is sex in the air.
Randomize
