At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Remember when I said "no boyfriend, no problems"? I lied. Tequila. Tequila is a problem.
Sometimes you gotta say "hey, its been a long semester. Let's puke before 10"
He was running late for work this morning, so I helped him out by finding a matching pair of black socks. And I hated it. So I'm currently drinking and reminding myself of the reasons I will never get married.
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
At least his std test came back clean, gotta look at the positives here
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
Holy shit dude........stairs
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
