I wanna come home
And do what?
Kiss. Rip clothes off. Repeat.
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Randomize
