And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
im so poor im using the bottom of my laptop to heat my food.
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I really want to go out tonight but part of me wants to be able to honestly tell the judge tomorow that I didn't
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Just had an epiphany about how to drink more effectively in the shower. While walking across campus carrying a Franzia bag like Santa
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
also I can check "jump into a moving car" off my bucket list if that tells you how tonight is going
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
Fun FACT Saturday: Semen is great for my acid reflux
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
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