Kenny Powers is just a normal guy with exceptional hair
dude this girl next to me farted in the middle of a quiz and denied my high five
bitch
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
How's work?
Spinning.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
I spent most of the night convinced it was my birthday. But I was probably wrong, it can't be January, can it? I'm 90% sure its not. But maybe. The days have got shorter. Is this what unemployment feels like to everyone?
I mean you were pretty drunk at one point you asked if we could have a glass of water ready for you in case you choked while bobbing for apples, but you said grape juice was preferable. You can't choke on an apple btw
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
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