Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Yea went to the bars and he called me 2 hours later with random people saying he is at a place that i don't think exists
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Is it weird that i want a guy to ask me to homecoming by spelling it out in meatballs?
THATS VERY WEIRD
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
I need to start dating older women. We tried sexting and she used more emojis than actual words. It was so bad that I did the math...her messages were 54% emoji. No one should make me feel this old when I'm only 28.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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