I was so hungover I threw up on her when she answered the door. i don't think it was a good first impression
already putting money aside for 4/20. you ready for the greatest tuesday ever?
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
he yelled at me for calling the fat girl fat. if I can't call out fat girls to my brother who do i have?
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
After I threw him out he walked down the street peeing in stride. I almost wanted to let him back in.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
New hot neighbor boys moving in across from us...So i did the logical thing and bought two 30 packs up the hill and walked right by em. Consider the line hooked and ready to reel.
he was making out with her against the stove and started a fire--the thirst literally almost burned the place down!!
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
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