just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
Come see our sink grown plant.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Paying for my weed with Mike's hard lemonade freezables. The perks of having a gay dealer
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
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