I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
You were in the garage half naked counting your ribs and talking about how you had too many
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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