If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
one might say we're banned from that church
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
I just typed 14 shots of Smirnoff into my calorie count toolbar. Then typed pole dancing 1.5hrs into the calorie burner search. Should break even.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Randomize
