In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
Come find me please? Im in a ditch.
That doesn't help me much...
I'm right under the moon!
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
Can't. I'm doing shots with my mom.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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