You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
I just used my thong as a hair tie. I think I reached my limit.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i think he drugged the pie. i'll get back to you on that later.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
I'm sorry. But when a stripper driving a Bentley tells me I have potential..... I gotta at least listen to her proposal. God did not mean for me to waste these tits on law school.
Like I had no idea he knew how to play girls the way he played me. His major is chemistry for christ's sake.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
For graduation he gave me roses, a giraffe necklace, and a butt plug. I think this might be my one shot at true love
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
How did people get blow jobs before text messaging?
Randomize
