I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
My pussy is not your playground.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
im really going to miss that car, so many blow jobs...
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
We are in Florida for 3 days. The people in charge of shit brought: a waffle maker, a cheese grater and a SEWING MACHINE
AND NO VODKA
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
I learned that I order a bunch of dollar shots at the bar and once it's ready turned around and say "who wants pay?" And someone will pay
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
Randomize
