Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
I'm pretty sure I just had a convo with my hot pockets about how they weren't good enough for the oven.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
We had sex twice and at Wendy's how dare you diminish that.
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
