How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
Repeat. Dildo on the ceiling, confiscated potato shooter, and bottle of yegger. Repeat. Ceiling dildo and yegger.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I just started talking about how noodles were so good
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
Randomize