yeah...it smells like an asshole would smell if someone ate sewage.
She challenged me to a game of rock-paper-scissors for her virginity. I love this girl.
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
Did u see the proverb she left as a comment on my picture?
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Nooo, I ran into two if my exes, both having their engagement parties at the bar. It was like a fucking Eskimo family reunion, but with more tequila.
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Randomize
