Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
what's for breakfast?
Advil and throwup
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
Ok get your liver ready for the weekend. Harry Potter Drinking Game Marathon is a go. BYO liquor of choice, rule cards at the door. I wanna see some Hagrid level drinking out of you, Muggle.
ON A SIMILAR NOTE MY DICK SIZE PSYCHIC SKILLS ARE SO GOOD
strip vodka pong is never a good idea. I saw into his colon when he picked up the ball off the floor
I opened the door and his girlfriend was standing there; we made silent, prolonged eye contact as I quietly put on my panties and left.
You spent the entire night trying to get me to make out with you
yeah I remember. your boyfriend shouldnt have cheered me on though.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
I POOPED CONFETTI TOO. Ingested unacceptable amount of it oh my god can I die from this?
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
