Yeah no shit. My mom is giving me winecoolers as we watch a show abt alcoholics
i feel like barbie the morning after an elton john party
I remember sucking his bleeding finger and then it's all black until he had his hand down my pants.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
And at least you didn't have a dinner of Ranch Pringles and Double Stuff Oreos. I forgot that part of being single.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
I'm not taking advise from someone who responded to the pickup line "I have a penis"
So I have a scar from when the stripper tore off my underwear .... Best birthday ever
I have already been up, showered, had a cup of coffee brought to me, added a little rum to cure the hangover, had sex and kicked him out and it's only 1pm. Successful day so far.
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
Randomize