So there is a guy driving a robot around the college of engineering selling energy drinks
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
I'm trying to convey to the smoking hot Spanish cleaning lady at work that I want to bone her but I think it's getting lost in translation. How do you say "blowjob" in Spanish?
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
I think I'm going to add the date I dumped his sorry ass as a life event on FB.
I think that's justified.
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
You took nana to a bar?!
she suggested it
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
