He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
Pregaming for shuffle board at 10 AM. I love spring break.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
We went to the casino to try to earn enough money to go to new Orleans comfortably. I'm already drunk. This is a horribly immoral start to summer.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
Last night I woke up and the national rep of his frat was sucking my toe.
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I mean, you got a giant dick. I've seen lawn gnomes that are smaller.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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