Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
That's like rubbing a penis in my face and not giving it to me.
I think im drinking tonight later on...which is good cuz i walked pass the liquor aisle the other day and i swear i heard a kid call me a pussy
its fine. mom just made me chug a long island. and made a crying face when i balked. we'll talk tomorrow.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I don't understand how 5 bottles of booze became normal or acceptable per 2.5 people
How the fuck you gonna play love don't cost a thing in a strip club?
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
I mean I've seen her tits but I don't know what her voice sounds like
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize