What can I say...he's packing some serious heat down there. You wouldn't expect that looking at him, huh?
I guess God knew he was going to be bald...
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
Come in. Grab a controller and a beer. We've got some Madden to beat.
You're the best girlfriend ever.
i feel like someone uncorked me like a wine bottle and pulled a living animal outta my arse.
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
casual night just sitting in the kitchen at 2 am eating stale chips and hot sauce while my friends younger sister is cleaning all the blood off my body
Pictures of drunk me in a bike helmet are like McDonald's collectible toys. There's sooo many, but NO ONE has seen all of them.
They need 20 oz Capri suns with liquor. Douches need to grow up with their clients
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
That's why my New Years resolution was no more blondes. They're all bad news
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