He chugged from a bottle of wine and then we had pretend sex
How do you have pretend sex?
It was bad...so it was pretend
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
I woke up on a raft in a bath tub filled with beer. excellent night.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
Spilled red wine all over my bed. This has to be the fiftieth time ive refused to fall asleep without a drink in my hand
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Exactly, there's no such thing as commitment at foam n' glow
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize
