3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
and when i put it inside her she yelled "welcome aboard!"
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
The guy in the library beside me just whipped out an entire loaf of bread, a knife and a container of peanut butter and is proceeding to make multiple sandwiches.
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
they were having sex on the toilet apparently and everytime someone knocked they flushed. it was like an auditory scoreboard of sex duration.
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
Hey! Welcome back! How was the bachelorette in Vegas?
A safari of penis I hurt to the core
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
My arm is completely dead, never again will i give you a 20 minute hand job. You better have enjoyed that asshole. I have to text with my left hand now.
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