I think someone spiked my drink last night. .. Like all 20 of them.
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
This is home. And home is where you find your family. And you try not to make out with your family.
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
Randomize
