Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
he's listed in a fb relationship with a girl born in 1993. i'm too drunk to do the math on that one, but i am sober enough to know that's illegal
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
Your couch is like an animal shelter for stray drunks.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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