its like they have never seen someone walk through campus with a plunger
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
and then some norwegians asked us to be in their porno.
Second night back. Go to house party and played ring of fire. Me plus five other people completely naked. College wins.. It's going to be a long semester
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
We had a 30 min conversation last night about whether or not to bone that girl with a lisp to see if she moans with one...
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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