Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
I had to stop mid sex to take my turn on words with friends so he wouldn't get suspicious. Hookup of the night helped me. We won.
I heard you were walking home with taylor with your dress completely up and your ass exposed
Yeah, that sounds like my life.
We don't have any ice, so I'm using the frozen cognac to reduce the swelling on Abby's toe.
At first I was horrified but then he explained that he shave a "soul patch" on his balls... And I was still horrified, but I went with it.
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I love standing in line at rite aid for 10 minutes being forced to talk to my ex's mom about life while I'm holding nothing but yeast infection cream
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize