ha- omfg whatt the fuck is wrong w me. Alcohol+third cousins= bad decisions
We walked past a group of guys in front of a bar last night and they claimed, I quote: Wow, we'd actually have to work for that.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
There's an australian, my relationship has no hope.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
do you ever look at a card in your wallet and reminisce about all of the drugs youve done with it?
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
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