just won the tropical speedo for $11. i didn't know they sold pussy magnets that cheap
Party in the USA is so catchy!
Yea, so is AIDS.
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
Getting blown during the Cavs game doesn't make it any less depressing.
There's a Sam Adams brew house. How were we not supposed to go
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
found a rock and smashed the sliding glass door. home safe. screen door is locked so we're good.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
I make your heart skip a beat like that pivotal moment when you open a public toilet lid
They shouted last call and the guy next to me and I looked each other up and down and went in unison "yup, you'll do"
I told you, she may have multiple personality disorder, but like in the most upbeat way possible.
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
Puking out the window is really hard when you're the one driving.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
Randomize
