youll never guess who i didnt fuck at that party
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
The chick working the drive through at BK on New Years stuck her head out the window and told me there were no line ups for the bathrooms inside so i should go in there. I just kept squatting and peeing and told her it would prob help business.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
So... I woke up on a bench with a honey bun on my chest.
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
fuck st louis. fuck their hockey. fuck their basball. fuck their football if they still got it. fuck their tiddlywinks teamm. fuck their ribs. fuck their entire city. what im trying to say is i dont like st louis
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