you only like me because i go down faster than a bridge in minnesota
I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
It was still light ouot when we were walking up Pier Ave and she kept asking if she could suck my nipples.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
He screamed for everyone to hide, unplugged the music, then talked to the cop. Last I saw he was high fiving him...
He's the fucking cop whisperer.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
This is going to be so stupid, but do you feel the calluses on my hands when I give you a handy?
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