he puts the penis in happiness.
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
What happened to fro yo and sex?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If he cant deal with my insomnia and sex drive I really feel sorry for his child and ex fiance. Adulthood breakups are depressing.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
she brought her phone charger to the bar this bitch is ready to drink
It still amazes me Mike had to have neck surgery after eating me out so much.
Randomize
