just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hmd? did you really just created an abbrievation for hold my dick?
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
It makes showers more interesting trying to drink a gin and tonic and keep soap out of my eyes at the same time.
You need to calm down.
the last time I drank tequila I ended up riding your skateboard nude down the street... so yeah, I'll have a few shots.
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
