He came on me while singing crank dat like soulja boy, fuck our sex life has reached a whole new level of low
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
It's always appealing to be able to say to someone "I banged your mom"
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
You hear the wildest shit in a Walmart bathroom.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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