last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
Her fortune said that she will soon be free. She's taking her bra off at the table.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
I'm sitting in Starbucks, waiting for direction in my life, or it to be 8 p.m. Whatever comes first.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
