Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
True story: Just left my solo cup on a cop car. Yesss
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
We told her to calm down. She said "I'm Buddha!". Then army crawled to the cooler for more vodka.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I feel like any time there's that much rope, lingerie, and horse masks on the ground, it's safe to say it was a great night
Randomize
