his personality makes his face look like an asshole.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
he opened up his "box of magic": a crusty tube of KY jelly, three expired condoms, a fingertip vibrater, and a jar of marshmallow fluff.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
FACT: the parking lot attendant was yelling "NO SEX HERE! NO SEX" at yall.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Mom said you looked used
I have already decided that it happened in an alternate universe since both of the people involved don't remember it and we only have the word of a sober person that it happened at all
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
That moment that random you banged behind the bar is going to be your son's third grade teacher... yup I'm there.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
Randomize
