I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
I am sending my doctor an XXXMas card thanking him for my tits!
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
