i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
He told me that I smelled like a Glade Plug-in, then sang the Menard's jingle in it's entirety in between kissing me.
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
Like what? And no, shrooms cannot be party favors.
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
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