The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
you know you made some mistakes when your last two boyfriends are both obsessed with women's curling...
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
Randomize
