sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
Dude. I just woke up without a shirt or bra on. Apparently I fell asleep with a quesadilla in my mouth. I can feel my liver hating me.
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
i just wanna lock my vagina in a safe filled with bandaids and healthy things
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
But it's a terrible idea. One erection and it's gonna go wrong
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
you're good to come back. The bouncer pulled me aside and told me. He also said you have nothing to worry about and that you have an awesome "upper punch" or some shit
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
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