what if the hokey pokey really is what its all about?
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
From the crime scene it appears that I attempted to throw up into a candle.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
Petting the cat and listening to "you've got a friend". This is why I smoke weed. To make sense of situations like this.
Congratulations, you are no longer the only person who has watched me drunkenly pee on their furniture.
I already banned bobbing for apples. While drunk that's just drowning near fruit.
She who has the vag holds all the power. He will learn one way or the other.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Time to eat Mexican food til I hate myself.
That's completely alright, I do it a lot.
You got a write up and a first aid award all in the same night. The don was impressed!
We had a moment of silence for all of the orgasms he gave me with his beard before he shaved it off.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
They should invent shampoo and conditioner for sex hair. I would buy all the travel size ones.
Randomize
