Im wearin a dollar bill hat and tgkin a big girl home. Lifi is gmwnd
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Chances are I'll be there for your wedding. Camelbaks filled with jack and coke are appropriate attire, right?
I pretty much have hash tequila and gelato for dinner every night
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I did this clutch move yesterday at the bar where I grabbed a plastic cup for water and discreetly threw up in it while walking around and then tossed it. It was my best boot and rally ever
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
Randomize
