Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Alright this has to stop. Without adderall I don't even have the motivation to get laid. College has ruined me.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
Also, new rule: You are no longer allowed to send me a text with the word "dildo" in it before 10am.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
Since when do you have sex with people you have feelings for?
Dude you don't understand. I genuinely felt his soul's penis in my soul's vagina.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Hurricane Harvey ruined my dick appt. WTF?!
Facebook just reminded me of the time I found two IHop cheese sticks in my hand bag. Those were the days.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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