i permit you to call me
Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
ok so I'm texting you now like I promised instead of drunktexting aaron and telling him how badly I want his cock tonight. aren't you proud?
this is Aaron, hi
the doctor brought back painful memories by lecturing me about your teeth marks that are still on my dick.
Yeah I hope so. Definately just saw two freshmen in very authentic togas and cotton ball beards. This new class is stepping it up.
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
Randomize
