You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
There is an old man sitting across from me. Phone rang and his ringtone is children giggling, I'm not safe here.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
It was so weird. I had like an out of body experience. I heard the moaning, but I didn't know it was me.
oh my god. were standing in the kitchen and were chanting "EYEBROWS" and shaving peoples eyebrows. I have work tomorrow and want to keep my eyebrows.
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
I'm 50% okay with that amount of body contact... plus/minus 7% based on where blood may flow.
He said "you speak American pretty good for a Canadian" and it took everything in me to still fuck him. Dry spell ended btw
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Soooooooo high. David tried to rinse the water droplets out of the sink for 5 minutes
Randomize
