Most guys don't get turned on by "skinny, gangly legged girl with glasses laying in bed touching herself." You better start working on your diction if you're gonna keep up the sexting.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
so as he was cumming he sort of growled with one eye squinted... for a moment there I thought I was fucking Popeye
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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