I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
What about.....a game of twister and....wait..nevermind. I've hit my cap for sexualizing things today.
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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