I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
I had to help you off the toilet floor because you couldn't get up, then you threw your drink on the floor and just said "oh dear" really calmly.
She saves ONE person's life while blacked out and now she's positive anything can be done "while fucking hammered"
WHY IN THE FUCK DID YOU LET ME DRUNK PUNCH STEVE? HE IS SUCH A NICE GUY!
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
First he fixed my gutter. Then he flogged me and fucked me. Then he bought me a new vacuum cleaner. I don't understand Daddy Dom stuff but I ain't mad at it.
It's been so long since I had sex I might propose to the next girl who will sleep with me.
Randomize
