Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I just had unprotected sex with a stranger. but i did him wearing nothing but my pearls. so its classy.
I'm doing a half mile walk of shame carrying a trash bag and still very drunk. Save me. I feel like a refugee.
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
i just came to a realization. Besides probably food, in my lifetime i think i have spent more money on legal fees than anything else
I thought I was bad, the girl next to me on the bench was feeding a bush a hamburger and introduced me. Only at lollapalooza.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
Randomize
